34 - A list, of sorts

I don't think I've ever seen 34 candles. Could I even blow out 34 candles in one breath? God I hope so, I'm not that old. Yet. I guess we'll find out how it goes in about a week.

You know, when my mom was 34, she already had a 13 year old me and my sister who was eight. She (successfully) ran her own art gallery and a household. My dad's company, which he started when I was born, was growing and on its way to become really, really huge. He was 38 at that point.

That's a lot to live up to!! This is also part of the reason why I freak out every time I have a birthday - it started when I turned 30 and it hasn't stopped. I know I'm putting pressure on myself and I have zero reasons to be so stressed out about this birthday. Really, I am happy. Very much so. While my accomplishments are no where close to being a rocket surgeon, it's my life and I'm quite pleased with it. 

Every birthday freak-out I have then inspires me to take stock. I usually do it quietly in my head, but I think  I'll share a few things this year because I need to send a clearer message to myself that I am not a failure. Please bear with me while I make this list of some "milestone-to-me" type things to remind myself that, while I may not be changing lives, my life has come a long way.

• Went to college in a city I knew nothing about.
• Graduated from college on time.
• Moved away from home, halfway across the planet.
• Landed a job in radio and marketing like I always wanted to.
• Learned to drive.
• Left the safety of a job I loved and was comfortable in for something new and intimidating. And failed.
• Became a yoga teacher.
• Planned weddings.
• Became a homeowner.
• Got laid off from a job I actually liked.
• Learned that "dream jobs" can actually be jobs from hell.
• Finally figured out what I like to do for a living.
• Started my own business.
• At the age of 31, started taking hip hop dance classes. Turns out, I'm not terrible.
• Taught myself to make macarons.
• I earn money writing blogs on topics I love.
• I love my job and my clients are awesome!

No reason, absolutely no reason to even complain, let alone freak out. Yet, here we are. Last year I got a tattoo and put a streak in my hair. Who knows what I'll do this year? Whatever it is, I hope it's something that's on my bucket list:

• Continue to build and grow my company.
• Cage dive with Great White Sharks off Seal Island in South Africa.
• Go to the Harry Potter theme park. Buy a wand. Drink butterbeer.
• Vacation in one of those resorts with the rooms/huts that sit over clear, blue water.
• Practice and play golf well enough to consistently break 100.
• Have a child (I go back and forth on this one a lot but leaning more towards the yes than no).
• Design and build our (The Husband's and mine) dream house.
• Go to New York, go to Bao Haus, eat as many baos as I can and maybe, just maybe, get my picture with Eddie Huang.
• Get Bikram Yoga certified.
• Learn how to make baos.
• Holiday in Bangkok, Tokyo, London, Vietnam, Hong Kong and Dubai with The Husband.
• Learn how to drive stick shift and do it well.
• Own my own piano and finish where I left off with lessons.
• Live in a high rise.
• Brush up on my Mandarin to where I'm not embarrassed to say things to people.
• Learn another language. Maybe French or Italian.
• Be better at dance.

TOTALLY do-able! Granted, kind of superficial but the way I see it, these are things I can look forward to esperiencing and, eventually, transfer to the earlier list. The fact that I can even wish for these things says I'm luckier than most. So maybe this year I don't get a tattoo. Maybe, this year, I channel my energy into crossing things off that bucket list and making my life even more fruitful than it already is.

And maybe I start by not freaking the f*** out.