Little moments
Having a child is a crash course in letting things go. It’s also a true test of one’s tolerance. I’m currently on a cruise with my family (parents, sister and her husband and their two children aged three and two) and Theo. It’s a 5:3 ratio but there are times I know we adults unanimously feel outnumbered.
Theo has matured since we left Nashville, in some ways significantly. He’s always been a very verbal child, and right before we left he was already picking up words and parroting like it was the new black. In the five days since we arrived home he’s been enunciating and much more confident with his words and it’s amazing to behold.
He’s also now very very very sure when he says no. It used to be more of a question but now when he says no he means it.
“Hold mommy’s hand”
No
”Time to take a shower!”
No
I wish he’d take to “yes” with more gusto but I’m sure that word will bring forthits own set of challenges.
I should mention that I’m traveling without The Husband. I was desperate for a visit home and when the opportunity presented itself I couldn’t resist. Unfortunately The Husband had to stay home because of work and lack of vacation time.
Side note: my first tip for traveling alone with a 17 month old if you don’t have to? I don’t recommend it: this is the complete opposite of the break I was hoping to take.
Back to my point about patience. Tonight as we sat at dinner I noticed my sister gazing at her eldest as he sassed our dad a little. She had that look on her face I know I’ve shot my own son, and parents you will likely know the one I’m talking about. It’s the “kid, you are SO lucky we love you because holy shit I’m worn out” look of defeat mixed with love and utter exhaustion and more love.
You know how when you met your partner and you fell for them so hard, you knew 100% how you would do anything for that person? Well, take that feeling and multiply that by infinity and you’ll realize why some parents still stand by their kids no matter how awful a person they turn out to be.
In my case, Theo is the only child I will be able to have. Every time I feel like I want to give up or I’m at my wit’s end I remind myself that it’s just for now, and to not lose sight of what’s more important to cherish: the fact that he is mine and he’s here.
I’m not saying I’ll let him get away with everything but right now when he’s 17 months old and still just getting to know himself and the world around him? I need to just take it all in and be a good parent. Because I know that if I am too incensed or if I let myself stay in the zone of frustration when he’s insolent, I will definitely miss out on key moments when he’s being my amazing little child.
Oh and another lesson having a child teaches you? Perspective.
